originalbeachboy | for brave_heart

for brave_heart_verity

[Sandman could in fact not dance the maccarana atop the Empire State Building, because he couldn't dance the maccarana.

He could, however, easily appear at an open window atop an elongated pair of legs and seamlessly slip in a stream of sand into Verity's home. Force of habit as much as anything, his tendency to take the 'back entrance' to anywhere was one of the reasons he was so tricky to catch.]

Yo, doll! You around?

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Nah, just weren't expecting it. They're good.

[He chews thoughtfully on them for a bit.]

It ain't all the new guys, anyway. I ever tell you 'bout Rhino?

Mm, no. Don't think so.

[But story time always gets her interest. There are very few fine storytellers in the world, and fewer who are honest.]

He's one of the only guys I ever met I knew was dumber than me. Aleksei Sytsevich. This big idiot, he's a Russian mobster but just a thug with no future, right? Until opportunity knocks and some scientists spend a billion rubles or whatever it is on putting this giant moron into a rhinoceros onesie so he can kidnap an astronaut.

[Every insult is delivered with the sort of fond tenderness of true friendship that allows the most vicious words.]

We only worked together the one time, the last time for Doc Ock. [When the Sinister Six thought they were saving the world from global warming and the world bought it, but whoops. Turns out Doc Ock is a psycho who wanted to kill everything because he was dying.] But we met plenty of times, in prison a lot. Bars with no names. Just around. He only knew how to put one foot in front of the other. I seen the guy tear a tank in half so easy it was like he didn't even notice, but with these giant hands like a Christmas ham I also seen him do the most delicate carpentry you ever seen in your life.

He follows the code. He's a crook. But he did it all to feed his family at first, then he didn't know how to do nothing else. Especially when he turned into a [He stops himself saying freak, just to not start the argument again.] superhuman. Remind you of anyone?

[She's glad he didn't use that word again.]

I can see where you'd feel some kinship with him, yeah.

...why was he supposed to kidnap an astronaut?

I'm gonna venture a guess here and say he did it for money. Somebody smarter than him probably had some plan or other.

[Truth all around here.]

And you know what? After the whole stupid Civil War debacle... He went straight too. Served time, got out early. Fell in love. Got married. I know for a fact he got dirty job offers, 'cos I made one of 'em, but turned 'em down because he found someone worth turning around for. Him, guy who could only ever go in straight lines.

You know what happened? Some idiot, some monster kills her so Aleksei will put the suit back on and fight. So he can say he beat the Rhino. Guess what? [He pauses, just long enough to show a sinister smile.] He didn't.

[That is horrible and sad, and now she's sad.]

That's terrible. I hope... I hope he's okay?

He's dead. And if somehow he isn't, he turns up somewhere like guys like us do, I'll put him down myself.

[Big honking lie. He might try to, but he wouldn't. He has a big thing about not turning his back on people for better or worse.]

Because he decided that if he didn't have her, the world wasn't worth existing and tried to kill everyone. Like he was the only guy who ever got a broken heart. I saved his life a year before that, you know. I saved his rotten life and he tried to kill my ma and my daughter and everyone I hadn't met yet.

These days, feels like I'm the last man alive following the code.

[She takes a quiet moment to process all this.]

Grief makes a lot of people lash out. I guess people with powers will lash out more noticeably. But I hope if he comes back, he's okay.

I hope he stays at the bottom of the ocean and a squid eats him.

[...Okay, so he THINKS he means it.]

[She gives him a long quiet look.]

[And then she'll change the subject.]

Do any of your stories have a happy ending?

[He thinks on this.

Every now and then he opens his mouth to answer, then stops, reconsiders and starts evaluating another story until-]

Okay, so one time the Thing gets hospitalised. As you can imagine, every hood this side of the equator wants to deep six him while he's vulnerable so there's hundreds of crooks storming this place. All his pals are out there to keep 'em at bay and no one is in there guarding him.

So who is gonna notice sand slipping through the vents in the middle of all that mess, headed right for the stony orangutan with no one in the way?

[He pauses to gauge her reaction as to how this could possibly have a happy ending that wasn't horrible, neglecting to mention that at the time Ben Grimm was his friend.]

[She does look a little dubious at first, but she trusts him.]

You wouldn't hurt someone who was that vulnerable. You've got honor.

Depends who it is.

[He sucker punches people all the damn time and the Thing in particular, for instance even attacking him in his sleep on occasion.]

But at the time, I was pretending he was my friend. [The 'pretending' is a gigantic, screaming lie caused by his brainwashing. It just sort of comes out, even if he then continues the story with them sharing a true friendship. So many little inconsistencies like that in his fractured psyche.] So I snuck in with cigars and beer, and kept the poor ugly smuck company. You should have see his dumb face, grinning like a dope.

[Well, that's disappointing. But at least the story has a nice ending.]

That was really nice of you. I'm sorry you two aren't friends anymore.

Well. Maybe we weren't then- [Lie!] But... We sorta are now. And I helped him break out of jail that one time, and we saved the world together once. Whatever. No big deal.

He roots for me. Maybe I'll still punch him in the back of the head through his teeth if I gotta, but hey. We're guys.

[She wishes she were more surprised he believes that kind of thing.]

Why would being guys make that okay?

Uhm. 'Cos it does?

[He can't fathom an answer more complicated than that.]

[Doubtful look. So doubtful. But also kind of fond of how adorable you're being.]

Does that make pretending you're not friends okay too?

Nah, that was different. That was just the going straight racket.

[Shrug. And a noncommittal snort.]

Somebody sends Keemia care packages now and then. Big idiot says he don't know who it is. But I don't need yer powers to know he's lyin'.

[She wonders if he's going to do this to her someday too. If she'll be the friend he pretends to have never liked. It's a remarkably depressing thought, so of course she isn't going to say anything.]

Who's Keemia?

[Only if someone brainwashes him into it- which knowing his luck will happen next week.]

Oh, I never said her name to you before, have I... That's my girl. Means 'alchemy' in Persian. Keemia Alvarado to the world, Keemia Marko to her, Princess to me.

That's a pretty name.

So he sends your daughter presents, you protect him when he's in the hospital, but you're still trying to convince the woman who always knows when it's a lie that you're not friends?

You're not that convincing, Flint.

...I'm convinced that power of yours aint' always right.

[Being brainwashed and crazy is hard, okay.]

It's never been wrong before. But whatever lets you sleep at night.

[Pity she can't yell the brainwashing outta him.]

[No, but considering all the crazy truth vs lie stuff that happens around her maybe one day. ~~That'd probably split him into a bunch of people~~]

As far as you know.

[Which comes with one of those huffs that means he's sulking. Sometimes he seems to know it's brainwashing. Maybe its worn off some, maybe he thinks that since no one ever wondered why he was suddenly a criminal again, why bother even trying to be a good guy?]

for brave_heart_verity

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And then we got Superior Spider-Man, who honestly, I miss.

I liked it, but felt it ended when it needed to. It was getting hard to see heroes buying it.

Yeah, it was unsustainable in the long-term, but I loved Otto and Anna Maria.

I will never get over Otto's 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM NOT A DOCTOR' moment.

Priceless. Did you read Superior Foes?

Catching up! Great stuff. Funny story, Boomerang is Flint's cousin-in-law. Or was. I dunno anymore.

If it's a story Boomerang told, there's no way of knowing.

I've yet to track down where it was revealed, but apparently it is a thing.

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